Harry and the Mistake that got him dirty looks....
by Mystical Kiwi
Summary: Ok, its rated-R cuz of language and the fact that there's a naughty dildo... ~_~...I don't think there's any slash but theres a Hr/H paring adn one you wouldn't expect ::grins:: N/????


A/N: Ok, I didn't know how to rate this so I rated it R. My friend Greg from school wanted me to write   
something about this particular topic. So I did, cuz im the bestest frend in the whole wide world. Nah, I just   
have way too much time on my hands, lol. N*E*Wayz, its about Harry wanting to try a spell and it   
backfires onto a dildo that Ron stole from Parvati and then what you'd call chaos and what I'd call the   
perfect birthday party, ensues. So on with they evil wittle fic!   
  
Disclaimer: Me no own, me got no money, you no sue, hey?   
  
  
Harry and the Mistake that got him dirty looks   
  
  
"Let's see, let's see," Harry said skimming the page of a very old spell book. "Where is that   
spell?" He glanced over at Ron at to see if he was doing any better than himself. Ron had long given up   
and was now trying to figure out how Parvati's dildo worked.   
"How and the hell do you turn them on?" Ron said quickly getting frustrated.   
"Don't ask me...go ask Parvati, she should know..." Harry said, his eyes not leaving the page.   
"Hey I found it! The spell that brings things to life!" The spell brought things to life. (A/N: Duh, if you   
didn't already get the picture from what harry already said)   
"Er, Harry? Do you even know how to pronounce that?" Ron asked, now getting the hang of   
working the dildo.   
"Sure. Frankstienwannabecometolifenow!" Harry shouted. The only problem was he forgot to aim   
his wand, which was in his hand. The wand was pointed directly at the dildo. The dildo jumped out of   
Ron's hands and onto the floor of the Library. It grew about 7 feet and ran out of the library.   
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, shit shit shit shit shit......" Harry said. "I didn't mean to do that!"   
"Well, atleast it wasn't you who took the dildo! Parvati's going to kill me when she goes back to   
her dormitory later tonight!"   
"We better go catch it," Harry said as he heard a few shrieks. Ron and Harry ran outside and saw   
chaos. The enlarged dildo was running a muck. It was chasing people everywhere! Dumbledore was   
currently sitting on a bench against the wall eating popcorn.   
"Now THIS is my kind of fun!" Dumbledore said.   
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit shit shit shit shit shit....." Harry chanted.   
"Harry, shut up! We need to fix this! This is our fault!!" Ron yelled shaking Harry's arms. He   
happened to say it too loudly because everyone stopped screaming and running around. Every Hogwarts   
student and teacher turned to face the two pale, frightened students.   
"This is your doing?" Professor McGonagall asked. It was more like stating a fact than asking a   
question.   
"Oh no, Professor!" Harry said. "We were just in the library when um...Neville, yeah Neville   
came running in with Parvati's dildo and held it in front of my wand as I was doing my homework! That   
coming to life spell that you asigned us1 I swear professor!"   
"Mr. Longbottom, come with me." McGonagall said to Neville. Neville just stood there staring at   
the wall (his favorite minor obsession). Professor went over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.   
"Excuse me, Mr. Longbottom, but you have to come with me to my office now."   
"Uh, lemme think....No," and then he turned back to the wall.   
Professor McGonagall tried again. She whispered into his ear, "Neville, come on, it'll be fun. We   
can try that new position you wanted to try last time." He jerked his head up and grinned. He jumped on her   
back and he rode her horsey back all the way back to her office.   
"Oh my friggin' God, that was disturbing...." Ron said.   
"These are one of those times that you wish you knew how to Apparate..." Hermione said, with a   
wishful expression on her face.   
"Geeze, Hermione! How many times do I have to tell you! You can't apparate within Hogwarts   
grounds!" Ron screeched.   
"Sorry." She turned, linked arms with Harry and they strolled into a broom closet.   
"Ok, this is getting too weird," Ron muttered, pulling out a tube of red lipstick (which he also   
"borrowed" from Parvati) and smeared it all over his lips. He strolled down the corridor.   
"What about us?" The crowd of students screamed in unison.   
"Conga line!" Dumbledore shouted. With the dildo at the front and Dumbledore right behind him   
with all the students behind them, they all danced out of the corridor into a broom closet, the very one that   
Harry and Hermione were in. Nobody minded much so they all scrunched quietly together and watched   
how long Hermione and Harry kissed, and wondered how they breathed, if they even breathed at all.   
  
A/N: Um, ok. Stupid, u bet ya! Review? Puhleeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thankies!


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